Tango!
by The Sushi Slayer
Summary: Kagome’s throwing a party, and Inuyasha has until sundown to learn how to dance. Will Miroku and Kaede be able to help, or will Inuyasha go into a nervous breakdown?


****

Disclaimer: Roses are red, violets are blue, me no own = you no sue! (And unfortunately, I don't even own the disclaimer. I read it somewhere else, so if it's yours, review and I'll give you credit.)

AN: Yep, my first sad attempt at an Inuyasha fanfic. Inuyasha is probably my favorite Anime, although I haven't written anything Inuyasha based. So please review and tell me if you like it, and I'll continue!

****

Summary: Kagome's throwing a party, and Inuyasha has until sundown to learn how to dance. Will Miroku and Kaede be able to help, or will Inuyasha go into a nervous breakdown?

::---::

****

Tango

Chapter 1: Speech Lessons

.

.

.

Miroku's deep violet eyes followed Inuyasha as he paced back and forth across Kaede's small hut. "Inuyasha, calm down. It'll be fine," the monk said, trying to calm the nervous hanyou.

Inuyasha thought back to when Kagome had last jumped through the well that carried her back and forth between times. _"Remember, sundown tonight," Kagome said. "We're going to have food, games, and dancing_!" Then she had disappeared, along with Sango and Shippou, who had gone with her to help set everything up.

Inuyasha sighed. He had never danced before in his life! The food part sounded good, but dancing? That was not in his field of expertise. Fighting, yes, but dancing, definitely not.

"Inuyasha. Inuyasha? Hey, are you still alive?" Miroku asked, waving his hand in front of Inuyasha's face.

"Huh? What?" Inuyasha said, snapping out of his stupor.

"Listen, why are you so worried? You've been in Lady Kagome's time before," Miroku said. "So what's got you all worked up like this?"

"I know," Inuyasha said. "It's just that, well..."

"Spit it out already, Inuyasha," Miroku said.

Inuyasha stood up straight and clenched his eyes and fists. "I'veneverdancedbeforeinmylife!"

Miroku blinked, trying to process what Inuyasha had just said. Then he smirked, trying not to snicker. Unfortunately for him, Inuyasha noticed.

"What? It's not like I dance around my opponents to beat them, ya know," Inuyasha yelled, eyebrow ticking.

"Whasta matter? Is the wittle doggie woggie scared that he can't dance?" Miroku taunted.

That was the last straw for Inuyasha. He pummeled Miroku into the ground. "You know, if I were you, I'd wait until Kagome was around to protect you before you go and mock me."

"Ok, ok, no sweat. I'll teach you how to dance so you won't look really stupid and embarrass yourself in front of Lady Kagome," Miroku said.

Inuyasha blushed. "It's not just her..." he mumbled. "So anyway, you know how to dance, huh?"

Miroku smiled proudly. "Of course I do. I'm a hit with the ladies."

Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "Of course, I should have known. But I am _not _dancing with you."

"No, when Lady Kaede comes back, she will assist you in your pitiful problem," Miroku said, waving his hand.

Inuyasha's eyes widened. "You don't expect me to dance with her, do you? She's way shorter than I am! Plus, she's like my grandmother or something! How am I supposed to dance with her?

"We'll think of something. In the meantime, we should prepare the floor for dancing. Clear everything to the sides of the room," Miroku ordered.

Inuyasha struck an indignant pose. "Why should I do anything you tell me to?"

"So you won't live up to that name that Kouga gives you. What is it, dog-turd' or something like that?" Miroku answered.

"Feh," Inuyasha said as he started throwing things to the side of the room.

"Ok!" Miroku said as they cleared the few things that Kaede had. "First, you have to learn how to ask someone to dance."

Inuyasha grumbled. "Why can't you just grab the girl and make her dance? Besides, how do you learn how to ask? It isn't something you just learn. Why can't you just say wanna dance?' and be done with it?"

Miroku looked shocked. "Because you need to charm them, butter them up! That way they think you're suave and sophisticated and they want to dance with you!"

"Feh. Whatever. Let's just get this over with," Inuyasha said.

"All right, then," Miroku said as he sat down on a tree stump that served as a chair. "Walk over to me and bow."

"What?! There is no way in hell that I'm going to bow!" Inuyasha yelled.

Miroku cringed. "Inuyasha, you don't have to yell, and you have to bow. It looks charming."

"Charming this, suave that... hell, I might just stay here if it's that much work," Inuyasha grumbled.

Miroku rolled his eyes. "And pass a chance to see Lady Kagome? I don't think so. Now sit here, and I'll show you," he said, getting up and pointing to the stump.

Inuyasha sat down, still grumbling. "Ok, I'm sitting down. What now?"

"Now you have to pretend to talk to someone beside you. Like Sango or something. It's not like Kagome will be just staring straight ahead, you know," Miroku said.

"What! I am not going to talk to air!" Inuyasha exclaimed.

Miroku sighed, trying not to explode at the stubborn hanyou. "Ok, then," he said as he reached in his robes. He pulled out a voodoo doll and set it next to Inuyasha. "There. Now you can talk to Voodoo-sama. He's very talkative..."

Inuyasha looked at the doll and then gave Miroku a flat look. "I ain't talking to a doll, either. Why do you have one of those, anyway?" he said as he narrowed his eyes at the monk.

"Well, I, um, I just bought him because... because I needed company! Yeah! It's pretty lonely traveling by yourself not knowing how long you're going to live," Miroku said.

Inuyasha raised his eyebrow at him. "Yeah, that's why I've been having back pains even when it's been a week after Kagome sits' me... So, anyway, what do I say to it?"

"It' has a name, it's Voodoo-sama. And you just have a normal conversation with it," Miroku said.

"Ok, then," Inuyasha said, turning toward the doll. "So, how _are_ you doing today?" Inuyasha said in a mock tone of interest.

Miroku rolled his eyes and swept across the floor toward Inuyasha. He bowed and took Inuyasha's hand and kissed it lightly. Inuyasha's eyebrow ticked dangerously, but he didn't say anything. Miroku, still holding Inuyasha's hand, said, "My love, my sweet Kagome, may I have the pleasure of dancing with you?"

Inuyasha stared at Miroku blankly for a moment before tugging his hand away. "That's what I have to say? That sounds absolutely stupid, and I don't say stuff like that. Kagome will think I've been possessed or something. And how many times must I tell you guys- I don't love Kagome!!"

"_Sure_ you don't..." Miroku said. "And yes, you have to say that. Kagome will be pleased that you've finally learned your manners."

"Feh," Inuyasha said. "Whatever."

"Ok! You're turn!" Miroku said, pulling Inuyasha off the stump and sitting down himself. "Ok, now, you just walk up to me and say what I said."

"Ok..." Inuyasha said. He backed up and walked toward Miroku, who was talking nonstop at the voodoo doll and making it talk back in a high pitched voice.

Miroku stopped talking at looked at Inuyasha. "No, no! You don't walk that way! You have to _glide,_ like your feet aren't even touching the floor! You were practically stomping over here. Now start again,"

Miroku said, and went back to talking to the doll.

Inuyasha grumbled and walked toward the other side of the room. He tried to glide like Miroku told him, but ended up tripping over his own feet.

Miroku looked at him, shaking his head sadly. "Start again..."

Inuyasha picked himself up and walked back to the far end of the room. He glided across the room toward Miroku, careful not to trip. He went up to Miroku, bowed, and swiftly took up his hand. He kissed the air above Miroku's hand, not wanting to really kiss the monk. "Kagome hyphen Miroku, may I have this dance?"

Miroku stared at the hanyou with awe. "That was perfect! You didn't exactly say what I said, but we can work on that. Your grace, your posture, your tone of voice, it was all exquisite! Well done, my friend," Miroku gushed, patting Inuyasha on the back.

"Feh," Inuyasha said. "I can be nice when I want to," he said, looking slightly proud of the praise he was getting.

Miroku stood up. "Ah, here comes Lady Kaede. Next, you'll learn how to dance!"  
  
.  
  
.  
  
.

::---::

AN: So, how did you like it? Please review, and I'll continue it. Ja ne!


End file.
